This morning early I took a scenic drive down to the Traffic and Licensing Department in Korsten.
After being threatened I decided to leave the area and rather go to another facility – like in Humansdorp, Kirkwood or Uitenhage.
It went down like this:
Arriving at the facility I was literally swamped by 6 or more thin and hungry looking guys with teeth that would have benefited from an extensive session with Dr Hoskins – all vying for me to “take a foter”, look after my car “very gut my larnie!” or get forms for me. I stood surrounded by this baying over eager pack of ‘assistants’ and uttered these fateful words; “Do you know anyone who can queue for me?”
The tallest one of the lot grabbed my arm and said “Follow me larnie – for 20 bucks I will get you in the queue.”
I was literally frog marched between my ‘assistants’ and taken to a point around 12 from the head of the line and told; “Stand in front of this guy.” And here my sense of fairplay overwhelmed me so I asked if ‘this guy’ was going to step out of line so that no-one behind me would be prejudiced by my actions. The answer? “No.” Enquiring further of the people in the queue behind me if they would be upset if I entered the queue and no-one fell out (I believe it is called a ‘body for a body’) not one of them said that they would be happy. But, they did say that they would tolerate it if the action was a “body for a body.”
Reluctantly I denied the offer of assistance from the tall one who was a little bit upset at losing out on Twenty bucks for his dubious services. He was a little bit miffed when I asked him why he was ripping good decent moral citizens off by his actions. Of course his justification was that he could be selling drugs – and he didn’t seem to understand that his swopping one crime for another was still a crime!
Undettered another ‘assistant’ grabbed my arm and promised me a slot right at the front of the queue for Fifty bucks – of course I was now on a roll and eagerly accepted his offer so as to see how he accomplished this feat. We walked to the front and told me to stand in the front. The guy in the front was taking none of this, though and threatened to kick my ‘assistants’ teeth in.
And my ‘assistants’ reply? “Ons skop nie mense se tande in nie, ons het guns en messe om mense uit to sort.”
When asked if he was threatening anyone he said that he was “Just saying.”
At this stage my tall assistant returned asking if I had finished messing them around and having fun at their expense. Of course I replied in the negative and he muttered an oath moving off towards where my vehicle was parked – then I realised that not only my person but my vehicle would now be a target for what looked increasingly like a well organised gang of thieves and blackmailers.
Anyway – I entered the building and laid a complaint against the intimidation and fear tactics employed by this gang of miscreants.
Apparently the Q4Me organised business has been chucked out from the Traffic Department in a misguided attempt to stop people queuing for other people. Q4Me are still queuing at other government departments on behalf of their clients though.
This is a bit strange as I am sure a legitimate business would operate on a ‘body for body’ basis, pay proper wages and taxes and create employment. I wonder if Pravin or Oupa are aware that their functionaries in the Municipal Traffic Department are contributing to unemployment and a drop in tax collections by denying a legitimate business the ability to assist busy professionals in saving an hour or two of time?
[Tweet “Dear @NMandelaBay please assist us to make the Korsten area safe and free from gangsters”]
Alan Straton
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Seriously – you are so lucky you never had a knife in your side or your car bombed. The authorities don’t care too much about what happens in the queue. They are too busy having tea or lunch or breakfast. I can bet that the same thing will happen tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. You are very brave.
Kirkwood is a pleasure. No car guards, no queue minders, and you have time for breakfast because you will be back sooner than if you stood (legally and ethically) in the Korsten queue.