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Why someone said to me; “Buying non alcoholic beer is like paying a hooker to cuddle!”

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I challenge you to make a radical lifestyle choice, announce it to your friends and family and then see what happens.

Around four months ago I gave up meat – red meat, pork and chicken and to further confuse my mates and family, on 26 September 2017, gave up alcohol.

The number of questions and memes sent to me now around my choice are relentless – here are some examples;

  • To all my meat eating friends; Happy Braai Day and to all my vegetarian friends; Lekker Fokken Tuinmaak.
  • When you cut the grass does your mouth salivate?
  • Buying non alcoholic beer is like paying a hooker to cuddle!

And so on…

Non Alcoholic BeerI now have a small comeback to my mates who demonstrate their ability to grow man boobs – I cuddle or touch them and ask if they eat a lot of chicken as the theory is that the antibiotics and growth hormones pumped into the chicken that we eat affects mens boobs in a way that makes them just a little bit more effeminate. Typically a chicken that we eat is slaughtered at between 5 and 7 weeks old – any older and the farmer loses money as the chicken does not turn the ‘food’ that it eats as proficiently into meat.

It is said that 65% of the cost of raising chickens is in the ‘food’ that it eats – mainly corn and soyabeans, BUT, what is not mentioned is that a chickens diet can also contain these products: infertile eggs, non-hatched embryos, fluff, shell fragments, dead chicks and ‘cull’ chicks, blood meal, meat scraps, bone meal scraps, poultry offal including heads, intestines and other organs, poultry feather meal, fishmeal from non-edible portions of fish, lard from slaughtered cattle, used restaurant grease and possibly dried manure.

Technically ALL chickens are free-range as they are raised in huge open cages (as opposed to layers that are boxed in small individual cages). Those ‘free range’ chickens require masses of antibiotics and are fed growth hormones. Once slaughtered they may also be pumped (up to 30% of weight) with a brine and preservative mixture.

Imagine if human beings all stayed in huge open cages for our entire lives – just one infection passed around would become a nightmare to contain and the strain would eventually become a super bug. Why should it be different when it comes to animals bred for meat consumption?

The estimate has been made that 80% of the antibiotics sold in the United States are to the food industry – cattle, pork, chicken and turkey.

We would be naive to believe that those antibiotics in the food we eat have no long term effect on our health.

QUESTION: When last did you compare the size of the antibiotic dose that you received 10 years ago with the size of the dose you receive today.

The first question I am always asked about my lifestye choice is always; “Why?” with the underlying insinuation that I must be a nutter, tree hugger or very sick. After all my mates have reason to believe that as a South African male the braai and killing is my special domain and that by not joining my fellow bloated peers that I am ‘letting the side down.’

Why I gave up meat

The truth about my giving up meat is not quite what is assumed and goes like this:

  • I had a life changing event in February of this year.
  • This led me to the realisation that I had been depressed and, frankly, a bit of a pain and an arsehole for the previous 12 years of my life.
  • Therapy was a pain and I didn’t like the blame heaped upon me for what I view as something akin to having a bad case of flu which needed to be fixed – after all when your nearest and dearest are physically sick or in hospital you don’t abandon them to their own devices, you nurture, care and fix them.
  • I refused ‘happy pills’ from the therapist as I was aware of what the trigger for my depression was and wanted to concentrate on understanding and fixing that trigger.
  • A visit to a doctor at the onset of flu and his prescribing huge antibiotics (as “our food, which contains antibiotics, is demanding higher doses”) led me to start thinking about ‘we are what we eat’.
  • Then I viewed a ‘documentary’ called ‘What the Health’ which extolled the virtues of a Vegan lifestyle.
  • By this time my daughter had been on a vegetarian journey stretching back 3 years and, frankly, was benefiting hugely from it – especially from a weight loss and control aspect.
  • I confess, I love ‘strange’ meats and had some of my favourites in the freezer – Eisbein, Veal, Liver, Lamb Shoulder – which were calling me to give them a bit of love.
  • Coupled with that I had strange pains in my leg, a sedentary lifestyle, was grossly overweight and experiencing the early onset of ED…
  • And that was when I gave up meat and gave away all the meat products in my home.

My reasons are not religious, compassionate, tree hugger or ‘hippy’ motivated but are on another entirely selfish level as I want to regain my health, lose a lot of weight and prove to myself that I have the will power to do anything that I set my mind to.

Progress so far:

  • During my dark depression days my peak weight was 117 Kilograms (at least that was the highest I remember when I had the courage to weigh myself).
  • When I gave up meat I was around the 105 kilograms mark (I weighed 81 kilograms out of school and 78 kilograms when I left National Service).
  • In this century I have NEVER been below 95 kilograms – until NOW, when last I weighed myself (5 weeks ago) I was at 93 kilograms and I am waiting a while to weigh myself again but estimate that I am below 90 kilograms now.
  • My stomach is receding rapidly.
  • I am now a 34 waist – in my cupboard I have pants with a 38 waist.
  • From hiding in XXL T-Shirts I now feel no embarrassment to don a Large size T-Shirt.
  • 20 minutes of LIGHT exercise a day has seen the slow return of stomach and core muscles.
World No Alcohol Day
A special message for my ‘friend’ from 25 September

Why I gave up alcohol

During this journey I began toying with the idea of giving up alcohol – my tipple is beer and wine and I was drinking far too much which was seriously cutting into my funds.

On Sunday 25 September (2 days before my oldest son’s birthday) I had been at the yacht club every night for three weeks on the trot. I met someone that night – quite a hefty fellow – and proceeded to have more than a few drinks with him. He was knocking back double vodka and coke at a rapid rate whilst I manfully tried to keep up with my beers. Then we went to his flat for some wine and I stood on his 5th floor balcony contemplating how easy it would be for him to push me over to my certain death in his drunken state. Whilst looking at him the realisation hit me; “Alan, you are quite a pathetic soul seeking solace in the bottle. You are in real danger of becoming a bit of an alcoholic like your new ‘friend’ here whose grave personal insults of you, you have forgiven citing his drunkenness as a reason. Is this any way to continue your life?” I then put my unfinished glass of wine down and bid my new ‘friend’ adieu.

After doing the unthinkably stupid thing of driving home (very slowly) I woke up with a headache of note on Monday 26 September and decided that I was going to give up alcohol.

Another victory for me so far as I now sleep so much better, don’t wake up woolly mouthed and have proven to myself that I can do anything that I set my mind to doing. Realising that you have control over your own impulses and destiny is a HUGELY empowering thing that also demonstrates to your nearest and dearest and wider community that, in some way, you are reliable and can be trusted.

My great joy is in realising that I am not actually CHANGING, but rather rediscovering that special person that I was before the onset of my depression.

Of course my two radical lifestyle changes have also contributed immensely to helping lift the veil of depression that surrounded me for all those years – along with making me a bit of a pain in the arse to those people that I wish to share my new found happiness with. Maybe some people need more time than I to realise that THEY are the only real architects of their happiness IF they take those steps to radically rediscover the joyous person that they once were.

I got the strength to write about my journey after reading about #BraamSuicide on Twitter and JHB Online wherein a 19-year-old-woman Wits student threw herself out of the window of her sixth-floor apartment in Braamfontein on Saturday evening and died instantly. Most of the speculation around her tragic suicide involves depression brought on by the immense pressure to perform well at University.

More LIGHT reading:

From Tips for Spotting and Coping with a Narcissist:

  • Some narcissists isolate the people in their lives in order to better control them. If this is your situation, you’ll need to invest time into rebuilding lapsed friendships or cultivating new relationships.
  • Look for meaning and purpose in work, volunteering, and hobbies. Instead of looking to the narcissist to make you feel good about yourself, pursue meaningful activities that make use of your talents and allow you to contribute.

I had a black dog, his name was depression

At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don’t know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery. In collaboration with WHO to mark World Mental Health Day, writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone tells the story of overcoming the “black dog of depression”. More information on the book can be found here: http://matthewjohnstone.com.au/

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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. All strength to you Alan, and well done on writing this great piece. Takes some doing I’m sure. Lost my brother-in-law at a scant 51 years old from a long-run combo of depression, smoking and drinking. Like the girl in Braamfontein the tragedy was that he could have been saved if someone had taken notice and helped him try harder. I think a lot of folk are depressed and don’t even realize it, and SA is the perfect breeding ground for the malaise these days. For mypart, taking steps to escape the shitty environment that is the 1st World and that looked so appealing 10 long years ago. Don’t yet know what the heck I’ll do when I get back to PE but it can only be a positive move.

    • Your encouragement means the world to me Paul – thank you. My writing/feelings are tempered with the realization that I am not the worst case – like the old saying; “You can never be toor rich or too poor, too handsome or too ugly as there is always someone else richer, poorer, more handsome or uglier than you.” That hit home to me recently as I listened to a good mate tell me that he had just been given a limited time to live. I can only put down his sharing this shattering news with me to my newfound positive outlook on life (and more trustworthy demeanor). Now there is someone who deserves more attention than I and all I could offer was a hug.

      I have a long road to go and hope and pray that I can heal those around me.

      I can’t think of a better place than PE to come back to – look me up when you get here and I will drink a non-alcoholic beer with you! My resolve is that I will have a drink again when the current sh!t with the yacht club is sorted. 🙂

      I find myself looking at people and ‘seeing’ their depression and unhappiness and wanting to go up to them and ask if I can give some advice – creepy, I know.

      • For what it’s worth I’ve realized that we have to bootstrap…someone else can facilitate change but it is up to the individual to implement it. Your going up to someone who is clearly in need of help may just be the catalyst they need. I’m sure your mate good a huge boost from that hug and it would be worth running the risk of seeming creepy to others. This kak and conflicted world we latterly occupy is not a great place and a lot of people need that sort of help. I spotted this quote here yesterday, written for these western types but is increasingly applicable elsewhere : “we are in a a spiritless and soulless age where material things and money rule ; where happiness has been replaced by pleasure”
        I will definitely look you up for that pint when I get back to PE. Go well and make that difference boet.

  2. The response to this article via the comments, email messages, Messenger messages, Whats App, phone calls, Likes, RT’s and personal contact has been humbling and really appreciated. I sincerely hope that this article will touch just one other person and give them the strength to turn their life around.