MyPE

Community Business Directory, Event Listings, News and Views from Gqeberha, Nelson Mandela Bay

Dear Contact Form ‘SEO’ Spammer

By

Below you will see a copy of an email sent to me via a Contact Form on the web site mentioned:

Hi basystems.co.za Team,

I noticed something interesting while going through your website basystems.co.za

It’s apparent that you have used AdWords marketing to promote your business in the past, however, your website does see some organic search traffic here and there. Now,I believe I can help increase that portion of organic traffic significantly at basystems.co.za

I believe you would like to come top on searches for keywords related to basystems.co.za … I found a number of SEO issues such as broken links, page speed issue, HTML validation errors, images with no ALT text on your website, that’s stopping you from getting that traffic.

How about I fix those, and also promote you through engaging content on relevant places on the web (read, social media).

I guarantee you will see a drastic change in your search ranking and traffic once these issues are fixed. Also, this is one time, so no paying AdWords every month.

Is this something you are interested in?

If yes, please allow me to send you a no obligation audit report and quote.

Hoping to hear from you and take this partnership ahead.

Kind Regards,
NAME REDACTED
Business Analyst.

BUT, it was the following line under the signature that got me thinking: “Please answer our email with “Interested” or “Not Interested” so that we will know the status of your inquiry and act accordingly. If you are interested then I will send more details on our “corporate identity”, “company profile”, “why you should choose us?”, “Price list”.”

Would it not be wonderful if we were given more choices to respond with?

I suggest the following choices:

  • Interested
  • Not Interested
  • I have no idea what you are talking about
  • Have my babies
  • Go Away making sexual movements
  • Phone me now
  • Farg off and Die
  • Oh Shit, I am packing my computer up and returning it right now
  • My 5 year old nephew is gonna be pissed at your suggestions
  • My friends call me Al, you can address me as SIR
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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.