I thought of saying; “Why I wish I could carry a gun in my car and shoot at strays”, but that thought may be seen as too violent, after all we can’t even shoot tip criminals with paint ball guns.
We have all seen those e-mails that fly thick and fast into our inboxes pleading to adopt a stray or find a mutt. Frankly after one whole month and ten thousand bleeding heart e-mails you quickly become immune and do not even delight in clicking delete. The sheer mind numbing deluge is enough to harden the softest of hearts.
I often think that those poor souls who so gallantly defend and care for our four legged hairy friends should go on a headline writing course first – the more attractive the headline the more likely you and I are to open, read and action that e-mail.
Of course this whole ‘send an animal rescue e-mail’ and ask everyone to forward it is mainly a Longhair and Gay thing – for a man’s man to forward such a mail it has to contain some form of profanity, toilet jokes or nudity. Isn’t it great to be stuck in a perpetual state of puberty?
Anyway, last Wednesday evening the Longhair and I were driving past the Greenacres Taxi Rank off of 1st Avenue when her eagle eyes spotted a matted hair, pregnant Chow wandering amongst the taxis rooting for food. Against my better judgement I agreed to turn in and assist to rescue the mutt. This operation consisted mainly of her leaping out of the bakkie before it stopped and offering the pregnant animal food that was lying on the ground whilst I gently moved the bakkie back and forth shepherding the mutt to a neutral area and protecting it from oncoming cars.
As owners of supposedly vicious animals (a German Shepherd and a Bull Terrier as well as one of the ugliest witches cats known to man) we have become quite blase about the possibility of not being able to bend any animal to our will, let alone being bitten by an animal that we are taking to a better place.
Eventually the Longhair got her hands onto the Chow who looked decidedly uncomfortable and, as another bleeding heart approached the Longhair and Chow from the front, the mutt felt that it was being cornered and lashed out at the Longhair. Blood everywhere, I rushed to help. The Chow decided to vary its bloody diet and latched onto my thumb. The decision to lose one’s thumb or the dog is not a hard one to make and I watched the matted mutt lope away.
And the 32 reasons why rescuing stray dogs is a BAD thing:
- A hasty trip to the doctor resulted in 32 stitches to the Longhair’s arms and one painful tetanus shot to the gluteus maximus.
- PLUS, one bonus reason, dogs have 42 teeth.
Understandably I blame myself and laid down the law (once again and again); “There are people better qualified and more prepared than us to rescue stray mutts, so woe betide the Longhair who asks me to assist in rescuing an animal.”
Of course the Apprentice Longhair took this statement to heart and phoned her Mother yesterday after spotting some stray dogs in the park opposite our home. Only then did she rather hesitantly approach Grumpy with the sore thumb for advice. So, we picked up the dog leads and proceeded to try and rescue the two Kensington specials who hot footed it out of the area and back down towards their original stomping grounds. But, big points for Grumpy who assisted the Apprentice Longhair. Just, please, don’t ask me to forward any more mutt mails.
By the way would someone please tell the old couple, who looked on in shock and horror at the Longhair’s injuries, that I was only joking when I increased their discomfort by saying in my best wife beater voice; “Now maybe that will teach you to listen to me!”
Right, I hear a dog barking, gotta go!
Alan Straton
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We dont appreciate what you have said here, you should be jailed for life. The fact that you would even think of hurting a stray dog or leaving it on the street is unbelievable. YOU ARE SICK! People like you dont deserve a place on this earth!!!!!! Its not the dogs faults that their owners abondoned them and left them to starve and fend for themselves!! You should have known not to just try pick the chow up! ARE YOU STUPID??? Everyone knowns that trying to pick up a stray dog will end in blood but really? You didnt have to create a whole page about it!!!!
I don’t appreciate being bitten by a stray animal that I am attempting to assist. So that kinda leaves us at an impasse does it not?
It is raving nutters who advocate eradicating human kind that need to take a chill pill and actually read again what has been written and not reach for your lead pipe every time you ‘perceive’ cruelty towards an animal.
Fact it Dogpoop66 – my pithy words may have saved another animal lover from being viscously savaged as they tried to rescue some other dog.
Next time stop and think; “Save the human so that the human can save the animal.”
By the way, YES I am stupid – stupid enough to reply to you and if being jailed for life will help me escape from you and your ilk then bring it on.
At least I have the support of my Longhair who says:
“OK, I am confused. They say “The fact that you would even think of hurting a stray dog or leaving it on the street is unbelievable.”
Then s/he says “You should have known not to just try pick the chow up!”
What exactly are they trying to say?
Must you pick up strays or must you leave them? And what about all the other strays that we have picked up that have not bitten us?
One out of hundreds – really? S/he is slightly out of sync with the universe.
Then s/he says “Everyone knowns that trying to pick up a stray dog will end in blood… “
Not everyone – that is such a broad generalization – there are so many kind hearted well intentioned individuals out there that actually do pick up strays – and they do not end up bloodied. My attack is the first one I had ever experienced or heard of (OK second one) – and everyone I spoke to also looked shocked that the dog attacked me. And it was not the dogs fault in the first place. So the person who wrote that very stupid comment needs a bit of brain surgery.”
Doglover22 … I’m a dog lover to, in fact i’m a lover of ALL animals. You were right when you said it’s not the dog’s fault that it has been abandoned, but saying thing like “you should be jailed for life”, “ARE YOU SICK!”, here is one for you, “READ, YOU ARE MISSING THE DAMN POINT!”
Dear Dog Lover – I am sure you will be ecstatic when you see my new Donkey Cart – see attached image of the Donkey and I going about our business …………