MyPE

Community Business Directory, Event Listings, News and Views from Gqeberha, Nelson Mandela Bay

Why I hesitated to order a Monkeygland Pie

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No visit to Port Alfred should exclude a trip to Beavers Pies. On this last occasion I ordered a Monkeygland Pie and then paused thinking to myself that maybe I shouldn’t be using the word ‘Monkey’. One struggles to keep up with all the ‘new’ words that have become taboo as a result of being linked to a racist mindset!

So, in our politically charged environment leading up to Municipal Elections, we attempt to give you some other words for monkey and the variations thereof:

  • Monkeygland – Spicy Primate Sauce
  • Monkey – Joyful, Intelligent primate
  • Monkeyed – Used to be joyful
  • Monkeying – Attempting to be joyful
  • Monkeypod – Albizia saman (look it up!)
  • Monkeyshine – Reflective Shenanigans
  • Monkeynastics – Mininastics
  • Monkey Bars – St Albans Specials
  • Monkeypality – Municipality
  • Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey – Cold enough to make racists huddle together with the object of their vitriol
  • Monkey house – Parliament prior to 1994
  • Monkey business – What political parties are up to
  • Monkey wrench – Hairy Sabotage
  • Monkey see, monkey do – Doggie pee, doggie poo
  • More fun than a barrel of monkeys – More fun than watching politicians suck up to the media
  • Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! – Well, I’ll be a politician!
  • Monkey’s wedding – An African Blessing
  • A monkey on one’s back – Like being accused of racism.

This follows a similar incident last week where I was chatting on Twitter and talking about the NMMU Game Reserve and it was pointed out that there are a lot of monkeys on the grounds – I admit, I felt a little bit wary to continue that part of the conversation. Damn the politicians for continually highlighting our differences and further dividing the citizens of South Africa in this way.

I challenge all citizens and MEDIA to join me and sign the pledge to go RACE FREE IN FEBRUARY.

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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.