MyPE

Community Business Directory, Event Listings, News and Views from Gqeberha, Nelson Mandela Bay

If The Russians Invaded SA

By

Dear Editor

Russian invasion of South Africa grinds to a halt!

After three days of chaos in the Gqberha Harbour, where a crane collapsed onto the main Russian navy cargo ship (owing to rust and a “surprising” lack of maintenance) resulting in the inability to offload tonnes of ammunition and other equipment.

The Russians finally assembled a convoy of 480 vehicles to push inland towards Gauteng. The convoy proceeded as far as Zwide on the Uitenhage road where they decided to camp for the night after three quarters of the personnel were struck down with acute dysentery-like symptoms attributed to the local drinking water.

Despite a double perimeter and roving patrols the Russians woke to find 64 main battle tanks on bricks, missing their tracks. Similarly 123 APC’s and trucks, also on bricks, missing their wheels. To add insult to injury most of their fuel and rations were missing.

Reports of like incidents are emanating from other regions.

A Russian spokesperson, speaking on condition of anonymity, said they grossly under estimated the ability of the local special forces!

Regards

DK from GT

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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.