MyPE

Community Business Directory, Event Listings, News and Views from Gqeberha, Nelson Mandela Bay

Gentleman with stiff ‘neck’ looking for a short therapeutic stay

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One of the ‘joys’ of running a business directory is reading some of the misdirected e-mail that is intended for a Port Elizabeth Business but lands in my mailbox. Most of the queries I duly forward on to the business.

The e-mail below I received recently and duly forwarded on to the intended Guest House listed on MyPE. Read on for the cutting reply.

The enquiry to the Guest House:

I am currently looking for a facility which offers a single bed for one hour every Friday lunchtime in order for me to receive tension therapy to my neck and back.

I work for a well known bank and I suffer from severe neck and back spasms as a result of my work.

I managed to find a student massage therapist who’s willing to provide the therapy at a reduced rate so that I do not have to pay an arm and a leg for the treatment.

Please advise if you will be able to accommodate me.

Well we all know that we will think evil of the writer and his intentions but I duly forwarded the request on.

Only to be copied in on the reply from the Guest House to the gentleman with a stiff …………… neck!

The Reply from the Guest House Owner to the ‘stiff necked gentleman’:

The rates of a qualified therapeutic massage therapist are in the region of R280 per hour. Should a student supply you her services at a reduced rate of let us say R100 for the hour and you have to pay for a room with a normal single bed, which we both know is completely unsuitable for therapy, such a room would cost you no less than R400 to R500 regardless of the fact that it is used but for one single ‘hour’.

Therefore dear Sir, I would suggest that you rephrase your enquiry to establishments such as mine since we in the hospitality industry have heard it all! With enquiries such as yours I find it extremely hard to be polite in my refusal since you not only underestimate my intelligence but also your assumption that my establishment, which also serves as my home, is of such a low standard that I would welcome your ‘hourly’ activity with a greedy purse!

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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.