MyPE

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And You Thought Your Mates Were Weird

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Received this Christmas greeting from my mate, Trevor:

In accordance with EU requirements, Legal Disclaimer for our Holiday Greeting

Dear Alan

We wish you, on the terms and conditions of the greeting enclosed herein, a Merry Holiday and a Happy New Year! From us (“the wishor”) to you (hereinafter called “the wishee”). Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all… and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the next generally accepted calendar year; but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, phone OS, or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by the terms that:

  • This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
  • This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
  • This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
  • This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
  • This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
  • The wishor warrants this greeting is only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.
  • Any references in this greeting to “the Lord,” “Father Christmas,” “Our Savior,” “Santa,” “Saint Nicholas,” “Krampus,” or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

Some of the information in this holiday greeting contain forward-looking statements regarding future events or future charitable and/or financial performance. Statements that are not historical facts are forward-looking statements and involve inherent risks and uncertainties. These forward-looking statements generally can be identified by phrases such as “Wishes,” “Merry,” “Happy,” “Joy,” “Let it Snow,” “Blessing,” “Peace on Earth,” “Sending Hugs,” “Dreaming,” “White Christmas” or other words or phrases of similar import. We wish to caution you that these statements are only predictions and that actual events or results may differ materially. These statements are based on projections made at the time of issuance and you should not place undue reliance on them. The wishor does not undertake to update any of these statements in light of new information or future events.

My sincerest, kindest, non-accusitive, non victimizing, religiously inert greetings.

Regards

Trevor

MyPE Christmas Greeting
MyPE Christmas Greeting
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Alan Straton

Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth. Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die." See more articles by Alan.