Fresh back from the Kindergarten meeting this morning I saw that my old friend Rick Dagless has been hard at work bringing mirth and merriment to suspecting citizens of Port Elizabeth.
This is the latest missive received from Legless:
Dearest Strapon,
Hot, Exceedingly Not
I sense a future for us. The sort of future that could rival the likes of Batman and Alfred, Simon and Garfunkel, maybe even Starsky and Hutch.
It will the be the type of relationship that leave women guessing as to our sexual orientation when we go for beers together in clubs. We’ll be comfortable when our legs brush against each other whilst nestling on our bar stools. If we’re speaking about sexual issues we are having with our spouses, we will not have any issue holding the other’s gaze and laying a hand on the other’s thigh in reassurance. We will shower together in the gym after exercising thoroughly, and occasionally hesitate whilst soaping each other up with momentary thoughts of coitus. I don’t expect we shall give in to temptation though.
I leave to you, sir, my treasure chest of scathing emails, letters and poems I have sent to individuals across the country. There’s more to come. A lot more.
I’m hitting people hard and fast…I do not expect popularity. For this reason, I will not be releasing the the secret location of my bat cave. Not even to you, dearest Strapon.
I sense that a more appropriate comparison between us would be of; Sister Ethel and Missionvale, Gandhi and India, Mandela and South Africa but will concede that your Starsky and Hutch does also intrigue.
Will you be my marginal Missionvale, my intriguing India or my seductive South Africa?
In recognition of your ‘releasing’ of your social discourse I shall be creating your very own niche on MyPE just for you dear Legless – a veritable virtual Batman Cave like bolt-hole that we in the blogging world like to call a category.
Yup, you have been categorised and I have been found wanting more, more of your scathing prose dear Legless and less of those pseudo homo erotic situations so dear to your heart.
In any case popularity is so under rated – I would prefer scathing loathing by those who dare pop their heads up above the level of mediocrity that we call the public and that others call voters.
Regardless
Strapon
Dagless now has a column specifically for mirth and merriment to be found here: Dagless<== Click here Fluffles!
Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Broom Mechanic at MyPE
Passionate about Port Elizabeth and definitely NOT packing for Perth.
Alan's ethos is epitomised in the words of Nelson Mandela; "I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society. If need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
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