Zuzile, a former journalist, on Saturday posted on Group Sex for Amoebas; “Call me a racist but one day I’m gonna get out of my car and smack the s**t out of these bloody white drivers who think they know the rules of the road better than anyone else… Mna ndedwa I’ve had enough of their insults on the road.”
Well Mphumzi saying; “Call me a racist” is a bit like when someone writes to you and says; “With the greatest respect.”
In a highly scientific study that took all of one half hour to complete MyPE observed that of Zuzile’s 1 130 ‘friends’ on Facebook, 18 are white and all (of those 18) are media related in some way.
So taking a leap of faith and applying critical analysis we can conclude that Zuzile doesn’t have any REAL white friends (or Coloured or Indian or Chinese, or Khoisan or ……)
A very sad state of affairs and one that should be rectified as soon as possible.
So this is a plea to everybody who still haunts the empty halls of Facebook to please message Mphumzi Zuzile – https://www.facebook.com/messages/mphumzi.zuzile – and befriend the poor guy as it certainly looks like he needs to broaden his horizons.
And Mphumzi, old boy, if ever you are in Port Elizabeth drop me a line and I will invite you to my home to sit on my porch to have a cup of coffee and a good old natter – because that is what REAL FRIENDS do. Don’t forget to bring the Melting Moments cookies – I took one look at your ampleness and said to myself – “Now there is a jolly fellow that loves Melting Moments” and sure enough your public profile reveals this. Also it is comforting to see that you liked the movie White Wedding – maybe you could use that fact to spin your way out of this.
One little heads up is that when doing a search for your name – Mphumzi Zuzile (in case you forgot your name) – on Facebook that naughty Mark Zuckerberg and cronies may be playing a malicious trick on you by suggesting that people read a book called; “Some of My Best Friends Are White!” Just what will your friends at the Department of Roads and Public Works in Amathole think?
May I suggest that you look out for my soon to be contemplated book; “All of my friends (best and not) are African!”
Of course Mphumzi you will see in the image above a little link in the bottom left hand side corner that says “Find Friends” – knowing what you know now about Mark and friends I would suggest that you don’t use that facility – FB’s twisted sense of humour may see you being paired with a Female Klu Klax Klan, Nascar loving extremist with a propensity for Fifty Shades of Grey taken to the extreme on the ample behind of naughty Melting Moments eaters – not good for the diabetes at all.