Are you someone who conveniently forgets their own faults so they can point out someone else’s?
Along my journey of ‘enlightenment’ as an observer and active participant I have noticed and been part of humankind’s hypocrisy towards one another and, more specifically, towards partners, lovers, friends and family.
We all seem to have a different tolerance level for incorrect behaviour based on who is being intolerant.
At it’s most basic level we accept crap from our employers, government, religions and persons with power over us far more easily than the truth (or call it crap) from those that we profess to treasure as friends or love unconditionally.
For example – Why do we continue to vote for political parties proven to be corrupt and self serving and yet do not tolerate that behaviour from people that we profess to love – choosing to cut them quite painfully and cruelly out of our lives.
If you choose a path that supports and espouses a loving, kinder, more tolerant humankind – it will be difficult. MOST difficult will be your ability to say NO to those people who have power over you; “Thus far and no more, what you are doing is wrong and I am removing myself from your presence and obscene salary that you pay me!” Do not fall into the trap of being unkind to those who are ‘below’ you, dependent upon you or have given you their pure heart and soul expecting nothing in return.
If you are a person in power and subject your ‘minions’ to mental or physical abuse – get help.
Some More Examples:
Andrew happily uses his work phone, vehicle and time for personal use but screams at his wife for using too much electricity/water/food at home.
Carol – after experiencing a breakdown in trust of her employer following a vicious constructive dismissal attempt, casts her partner aside citing his sharing of his concern over her job with close friends as a breakdown in trust.
One of Charlie‘s tasks at work is to post to his companies Social Media Channel along with his fellow employees. Charlie’s Boss never likes or shares Charlie’s posts – a great and vocal source of irritation for Charlie. Charlie never likes or shares his partner Alice’s posts but she likes and shares his….
Jenny has a long term history with abusive ex-partners. Trying to create a new life she abuses each new partner and wonders why she cannot enjoy stable relationships.
John is treated like a doormat at work by his employer. His unhappiness at work translates into abuse of his wife and eventual divorce from his wife BUT not from work…
Susie‘s boss is a philandering, swearing misogynistic. Her husband is a milder version of her boss. She divorces her husband but keeps her boss.
Craig publicly expresses his abhorrence for people in power abusing their positions with their philandering ways and does the same thing whilst in a relationship. He then blames his partner for her leaving.
Alta has a boyfriend and then allows her philandering ex-husband to move back in. When asked what is going on she expects the boyfriend to accept her excuses. Boyfriend scarpers.
Graziella embarks on a series of workplace related affairs. Here actions translate into imagining that her partners is doing the same. Her ‘guilt’ makes her accuse her partner of multiple affairs. Unable to answer this continual assault, her partner retreats into depression. They get divorced.
Cathy‘s outer personality is of an earth child – all the proper memes and hashtags are displayed on her social media account and tattooed on her skin. She is the product of an emotionally absent and abusive Mother. Every time she gets close to new a partner she reverts to learned responses from her mother. Constantly believing that her partner will let her down one day – she struggles to maintain any long term relationship.
Damien is nasty piece of work – he fudges his tax, his business, his employees, his family… His rationale for doing so is rooted in an abusive relationship with his father who sexually abused him. Damien is a paedophile.
Prince moves his business to another country to escape a looming tax problem – his employees are aware and still work for him. How will this affect their judgement at the workplace and at home?
Barbara tells everyone that, as a child, she was sexually abused by her father who has been dead for decades. Instead of allowing the family to rally around her in support and healing she chooses to continue the abuse by individually subjecting each to accusations of no support and blaming each individual for failing to see what was going on.
Immie is dependent upon his employer for his salary that supports his wife and children. His employer is an ass. Immie’s wife is dependent upon him for a roof over her head, food, clothing and her children. Immie mistreats his wife and children in much the same way Immie’s employer mistreats him. The co-dependent relationship continues.
Manny and his daughter work for the same employer. Manny is from a very traditional family. Manny collects both their wages and gives his daughter only a portion of the money that should accrue to her.
Cindy‘s employer is a control freak – questioning her every move and constantly micro managing Cindy. Cindy hates her boss. Cindy treats her husband the same way that the boss treats Cindy. When the husband expresses his displeasure at being ill treated Cindy leaves her husband and is still with her boss.
Even MyPE can be hypocritical. See: Why MyPE is Like Facebook
If you say you don’t do drugs then you are a hypocrite. See: I Don’t Do Drugs! Really? A Sobering Lesson for Business
Ian is in HR – a heavy smoker and drinker. He is called to discipline Candice for taking maintenance doses of Cannabis for an existing condition as ‘such behaviour is not befitting the company image’ Ian and his company are hypocrites.
At the end of the day we need to be consistent in our judgement of people who wield power over us AND of people over whom we wield power.
Don’t be a hypocrite.
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